There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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