whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Well I just put wine in my tea
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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