The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
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He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
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