just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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