the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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