grandma shit on top of the toilet
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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