two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
