I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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