The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
