She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
