Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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