I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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