I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
nutella sex= disaster
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
