Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
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Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
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Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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