hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
