is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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