i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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