i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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