i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
