I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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