She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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