I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
