Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
