so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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