I think i peed on brittanys purse
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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