Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.