I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
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As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
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I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.