It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
