This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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