Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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