is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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