I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Found your dick twin last night
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
