Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize