we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
