I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
