what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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