the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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