Do vagina's smell?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
it's great music for shaving your balls
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
