My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
