no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You made out with two different species that night
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
