I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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