I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
