So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
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He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
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cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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