Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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