My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
