I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
