her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
