Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
