Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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