If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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