I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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