Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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