He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize
