): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
