Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
