so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Two words: blizzard sex
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
