I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Houston, we have a blender
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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