I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
