brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
