just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
