Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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