It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.