I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize