You smell like a Billy Joel song
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
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Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
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Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.