you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
