I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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