If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
